Dear...

Mr. Beard,

It saddens me that your unexpected visits have become less frequent since October. How much I miss you randomly knocking on our door. Luckily, you were able to stop by the other day after you insisted that Matt get his temperature checked at the hospital. He is pale all the time because he is white, and it's winter... not because he is dying. Thanks for reminding me to put my slippers on, since walking around barefoot in my house is horrible and will cause me great sickness. Thanks for suggesting to Matt that we exercise more, like by playing ping-pong ball. And you know, I had almost forgotten (after learning about proper diets for three years) to eat vegetables every day! Man... I don't know what I would do without your guidance, since I seem to have lost my intelligence when I crossed the international dateline. 

Since you suggested it, I will no longer eat at the 'inns' outside the school gate. I now know that it is unhealthy, how did I survive three months of eating there everyday? I will also learn how to cook Chinese food, which I was planning on doing anyway, but now I know how important it is. I will strive to wear more layers of clothes next time I venture outside, I must be freezing and not realize it! I will also continue to wear those clothes inside my house, since you say that I should leave my windows open 'even when it's hot outside, even when it's  cold outside, even in the daytime, even in the nighttime.'

And last but not least, thanks for telling my how badly I was cheated on everything that I have bought. How is it that you gave me so much good advice in only 1 short hour? 

Facebook,

I know what you did. I know that you tell my friends that they should write on my wall so that I will enjoy facebook more, and you know what? Why are you forcing people to be my friend? Do you think people wouldn't write on my wall of their own free will and choice? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? It makes me feel like a loser who just found out that their parents pay people to be their friends. 

If facebook wasn't already blocked here, I would go on a facebook fast in protest. 

Dear Elder Williams,

I am not super happy with you either. You opened your mission call at the exact time that I had to be in my first class here. And on my Thanksgiving too! Perhaps I will forgive you later. If you are a really awesome brother. And to think that I had someone bring you four Armani ties from China. Oh well, I am still excited for you to have been called to the Anchorage, Alaska mission! Congratulations! You will be a great missionary, and I'll miss you, since it will be like two more years till I see you again. 

Sincerly to all,

Kristal